It’s really common to let victim thinking show up in our daily lives:
‘I’m bad with money because we didn’t have any when I was a kid’.
‘It’s not my fault the presentation didn’t go well, I wasn’t given enough time’.
Blaming other people and not taking responsibility for situations, refusing to recognise our role, is part of listening to your inner critics. If you questioned them, you might see a different side to the story.
In my podcast episode ‘Bereavement, Bravery and Business’, Claire spoke about the grief of losing three close family members in the space of three years. She could quite easily have let this become a narrative of not fairness. Of sinking into depression and blaming the world and other people for what happened to her. Which would have been understandable. Her story was unbelievable. But Claire didn’t fall victim to victim thinking. She made her terrible story of bereavement mean something else. She made it mean connection, she channelled the energy into her meal planning business, because that’s what she did for her sick relatives. She cooked for them and helped them as they drew towards the end of their lives. Such an inspiring story of turning grief into something beautiful. And a wonderful illustration that life is truly what we make it mean.
Life is a story that we choose to tell, be it a drama, a romance, a thriller, or a piece of naff holiday fiction.
Everything is a story. A version, a perspective, an angle, a carbon copy, an example of something else.
In my latest podcast episode, I talk specifically about the stories we tell ourselves that include the words CAN’T and DON’T.
‘I can’t do that, I don’t have time’
‘I can’t do that because I don’t have the right experience and other people are more suited than me’.
Sound familiar? These types of stories – I can’t and I don’t – make whatever you’re dealing with in your reality so massive you can’t see over the top of them. They are the equivalent of dropping a skyscraper in your path and having to go over it to get past. And when it’s 100 stories high, it seems impossible.
In this episode, I help you break that skyscraper down into bungalows so that you can easily see a way through, over and round. Smaller is better in this context.
Make sure you listen in. And if you’re ready to start challenging your inner bitches, download my Confidence Hack Pack and let’s get started.